being happy

I would have to say that being legitimately happy is probably one of the hardest things to do these days.
With people putting you down every other day, with work being hard to find, or having a job that you're just completely miserable at, or relationships going down the drain because either someone is being a dick/bitch or they were just not loyal to one another.
So now, I am trying very hard to find myself, find ways to actually help myself be happy. No more faking. I want to actually be happy.
Not okay.
Not content.
HAPPY.

Real happy.

So I've started to live for myself. Not others. Myself.
I'm going to be a little selfish for once.

I want to get over my small case of agoraphobia. And I think in order to do that, I have to be comfortable with who I am. I mean, I am comfortable, but not really pleased.
If that makes sense.

So I'm going to do this.
I'm going to concentrate on things that make ME happy.

ME ME ME ME ME

I can't help it...

The way I feel, all the time.
I'm not happy with my life at the moment at all. My job makes me miserable, I feel like everyone is drifting away from me, and I have to spend the whole summer working 40 hours a week in order to make the money I need to make.
Good-bye summer.

I'm hoping by the end of June I will be moved to another store, so I can go down to part-time, and enjoy some of my summer before school starts.

I'm actually really looking forward to school. Finally, doing something I love. I just hope I'm not making a mistake like I did with Web Dev. Only one way to find out I guess.

My love life is non-existent. I'll think it's getting somewhere and then something happens, always. One day it'll pick up. And I cannot wait until that day.
But also, I was thinking about it today while talking with a friend, maybe it's a good thing that I am having bad luck with any sort of relationship. It just means a lot (and I mean A LOT) less stress when school comes around.

I guess that is one way of thinking positive.

I don't know.

we'll see.