I would have to say that being legitimately happy is probably one of the hardest things to do these days.
With people putting you down every other day, with work being hard to find, or having a job that you're just completely miserable at, or relationships going down the drain because either someone is being a dick/bitch or they were just not loyal to one another.
So now, I am trying very hard to find myself, find ways to actually help myself be happy. No more faking. I want to actually be happy.
Not okay.
Not content.
HAPPY.
Real happy.
So I've started to live for myself. Not others. Myself.
I'm going to be a little selfish for once.
I want to get over my small case of agoraphobia. And I think in order to do that, I have to be comfortable with who I am. I mean, I am comfortable, but not really pleased.
If that makes sense.
So I'm going to do this.
I'm going to concentrate on things that make ME happy.
ME ME ME ME ME
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Thursday, June 4, 2009
I can't help it...
The way I feel, all the time.
I'm not happy with my life at the moment at all. My job makes me miserable, I feel like everyone is drifting away from me, and I have to spend the whole summer working 40 hours a week in order to make the money I need to make.
Good-bye summer.
I'm hoping by the end of June I will be moved to another store, so I can go down to part-time, and enjoy some of my summer before school starts.
I'm actually really looking forward to school. Finally, doing something I love. I just hope I'm not making a mistake like I did with Web Dev. Only one way to find out I guess.
My love life is non-existent. I'll think it's getting somewhere and then something happens, always. One day it'll pick up. And I cannot wait until that day.
But also, I was thinking about it today while talking with a friend, maybe it's a good thing that I am having bad luck with any sort of relationship. It just means a lot (and I mean A LOT) less stress when school comes around.
I guess that is one way of thinking positive.
I don't know.
we'll see.
I'm not happy with my life at the moment at all. My job makes me miserable, I feel like everyone is drifting away from me, and I have to spend the whole summer working 40 hours a week in order to make the money I need to make.
Good-bye summer.
I'm hoping by the end of June I will be moved to another store, so I can go down to part-time, and enjoy some of my summer before school starts.
I'm actually really looking forward to school. Finally, doing something I love. I just hope I'm not making a mistake like I did with Web Dev. Only one way to find out I guess.
My love life is non-existent. I'll think it's getting somewhere and then something happens, always. One day it'll pick up. And I cannot wait until that day.
But also, I was thinking about it today while talking with a friend, maybe it's a good thing that I am having bad luck with any sort of relationship. It just means a lot (and I mean A LOT) less stress when school comes around.
I guess that is one way of thinking positive.
I don't know.
we'll see.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Another day
I've been up since 10am, an hour later, still laying in bed. haha.
For some reason, for a while now, I've had no motivation to get out of bed. Maybe it's the weather? I'm not sure. I guess I'll figure it out when the warm weather comes.
It's not like I'm super depressed or anything, I just have no motivation.
It doesn't help that I haven't heard anything from Durham College. It's almost March and I have no idea if I got into the program or not. I do not want to take another year off and work full time at stitches.. AGAIN.
I am super anxious, about a lot of things, and they are finally piling up on top of each other. In my head. And I feel like my head is about to burst
Ugh.
I can't wait until things calm down.
For some reason, for a while now, I've had no motivation to get out of bed. Maybe it's the weather? I'm not sure. I guess I'll figure it out when the warm weather comes.
It's not like I'm super depressed or anything, I just have no motivation.
It doesn't help that I haven't heard anything from Durham College. It's almost March and I have no idea if I got into the program or not. I do not want to take another year off and work full time at stitches.. AGAIN.
I am super anxious, about a lot of things, and they are finally piling up on top of each other. In my head. And I feel like my head is about to burst
Ugh.
I can't wait until things calm down.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Reason
So,
there is pretty much only one reason why I made this blog site.
So I can come here and type away anything that is on my mind.
Lately, I've been holding everything in, which is not good at all. Even if no one ends up reading these blogs, I will still have everything off of my chest.
:)
there is pretty much only one reason why I made this blog site.
So I can come here and type away anything that is on my mind.
Lately, I've been holding everything in, which is not good at all. Even if no one ends up reading these blogs, I will still have everything off of my chest.
:)
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